I'm in the philosophical mood at the moment These moments are few and far in-between. In the film Ever After from 1998, basically its a Cinderella Story, the prince in said story questions Leonardo Da Vinci about Love.
Henry: "Do you really think that there is such a thing as one perfect mate?"
Henry: "But how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them are they really the one for you or do you only think they are?And what happens if the person you are supposed to be with never appears or you are too distracted to notice?"
Leonardo: "Learn to pay attention"
Henry: "What if God put two people on earht and they are lucky enough to find each other, BUT one of them gets hit by lightening, then what? Is that it? Or per chance you meet someone esle and marry again, is that the lady you are supposed to be with or was it the first. And if so, if the two of them walked side by side where they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? Is everything just chance or is some things meant to be?"
Leonardo: "You cannot leave everything to fate boy. She's got a lot to do. Sometimes you must give her a hand"
So how do you know you have found the one? Is there such a thing? There are so many people you meet and people you do not meet. Its difficult to know, but its not like you can line up a couple of options try them all out and then decide which one was the best. You can leave a relationship in hope of something else, better perhaps, but you never know what you will find. Perhaps you will find someone that suits you better but perhaps you also realize that you lost something precious. The grass aren't always greener on the other side. Perhaps in the end its about finding someone, not perfect someone but someone who you are happy with and do not feel the need to look for something potentially better. Perhaps that is when you have found the one?
So what is Love? It's hard to describe right? I suppose there are many ways of defining it and not one will cover all aspects and it might be something very different to different people. The love for a family member I would say is more of a friendship that is unconditional. But not all families are equally loving and sharing, but does that mean that the family does not love each other? Love certainly has nothing to do with blood for most people. A child loves the person who cares for them. It does not have to be the birth parents, it could be adoptive parents or anyone that shows them affection and takes care for them. You form an attachment.
Love in the romantic sense you see on film does that exist? The whole love at first sight? Attraction at first sight, yes, I do believe that is quite common. You see someone and you think well he/she looks nice and the first impression of them is positive. However, there would probably have to be something else there as well in order for an acutal relationship to work in the end. A friend from elementary shchool said "You fall for the outside but fall in love with the inside". The outside might help for that first point of contact and interest but it does not guarantee a lasting impression. But Love, its something you dream about, finding that one person that is supposed to make you happy and pink fluffy clouds and so on. I believe that the long lasting relationships in the end comes to be based on a friendship/a friendly love rather than primarily sexual lust and attraction. Sure the sexual aspects are without a doubt a part of it and should definitely be a postive part. So what is love? Is it when you feel airy and bubbly inside when you see a person or is that just attraction? Once you are in a relationship you are probably not going to feel ariy and bubbly all the time if you see them all the time, or is that becuse you do feel it all the time but now it has become norm so you do no longer take notice? I don't have the answers to these questions. I would love to have someone tell them to me though :) Maybe you don't feel bubbly with them anymore but you still miss them terribly whenever they are away. Is that love? I think love is when you miss someone when they are away, you always want to be close to the person in some way, maybe not in person but in any way possible. It could be through letters or phone calls instead. But romance as the way it is depicted in movies I think is rare if not non-existent instead it creates an unattainable dream that makes the reality seem bleak and pale in comparison.
A friend once made a remark regarding how people express themselves towards the people they claim to love. The phrases are generally the same or very similar in each new relationship as the vocalbulary for expressing affection is restricted. Vocabulary in itself is restriced and controls the way we express ourselves. But does that mean that the value in the phrases or compliments given are less when used for the second, tenth, twenthieth person? It really should not. What matters is that the person means what they say in that very moment they are being spoken. Things like "I love you forever" or "I will never leave you" are phrases that are nice to hear when spoken to you but also painful as there will always be that feeling of doubt surrounding them. What does the person actually mean? Do they mean it literally or just in that momen. A feeling of doubts regarding the fact that no one can know what forever holds and if the person has already spoken those words to numerous others and evidently the words then evidently did not matter as those relationships are over. Well at least you hope they are. But you can never ever know what is inside a persons mind either. And its is always easy to say when you are not in the situation and pretending to be the bigger person that it shouldn’t matter anyway. Past should not matter, what matters is the present and the future. But then again they say that ”the past forms the future” and ”who owns the past also owns the future”. What do all these beutiful phrases mean in the end, if anything. They just seem to serve the same purpose as the cheesy romance movies, creating an unttainable goal which no one can reach in the end, eventually just creating disappointment and a feeling of dissatifaction. Perhaps it doesn’t really matter what happens in the future, what matters is that in that moment those words are so true and they are not said with the intention of changing, but if they do, well then at least you had that.
But just because there is no way to define love, does not mean that it does not exist. It can probably have many forms and take many expressions. So be happy with what you have and what makes you happy and embrace it while you have it. After all its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.